An Inner Harbour: Learning to be a good companion to self
"What do I need right now?" With a hand over my heart, I often stop myself in my tracks and ask this simple question out loud. This is a practice I have learned over the past few years, whereas before I would just blow through moments and ignore my body's cues and my emotional cues that something needed attending to.
As a firstborn and type A it never crossed my mind to check in on myself. I had always been the one doing the checking in to make sure everyone else was ok. I was always the caregiver, and not knowing how to give care towards self. So when waves of anxiety and overwhelm would come I've learned how to show up for myself in more intentional ways.
The same compassion I was offering others, I was learning to turn towards myself in those moments. Self-compassion can be a powerful tool towards healing. It might look similar to how a friend would put a gentle hand on a another's shoulder and ask, "How are you really? How can I support you?" I had to start learning to show up for myself that way.
Later- in-life moments can teach us what we have been missing our whole lives. The unmet needs of feeling attended to, loved, secure, safe and a sense of belonging. We don't always know what we are missing. But life has a way of revealing the crevasses within ourselves that are thirsty for nourishment.
When we have never received these, there can be a sense of 'Was I ever worthy?'
That question can be left hanging, until we answer the call to our own hearts.
Its probably one of the most significant reflections of my life: learning how to be a good companion to myself. Learning how to answer the sacred questions with a definitive 'yes.' When I do show up for myself in simple, quiet, meaningful ways, I can feel this inner sense of 'thank you.'
It's the quiet companionship of self that we learn to show up and witness our own tangible presence in the moment, and learning how to not forget ourselves as we show up for others.
It's like creating an inner harbour within. A place that we can always come back to. It's a place that we carry wherever we go. Just like the flow of the ocean, life can feel uncontainable. What can make all the difference is finding a place within ourselves we can keep returning to again and again.
Needing some support? You are welcome to book a discovery call to connect and see if counselling with Sue would be a good fit.
Comments